Our Lagosmums mum of the month is Toyosi Olatunji. Mum of twins, the Chief Mission Officer at Leadway Holdings, a Mentor, Coach and Development Strategist.
Please inform us about your self.
My title is Toyosi and I’m a mom of two – a set of boy/lady twins. They’re 14 months previous. We’re a cheerful trio and all our names begin with T!
Are you able to share extra on all of the hats you put on?
Mom, Skilled, Mentor/Coach, Volunteer.
Share one surprising factor about you.
In one other life, I might be a forensic scientist/crime scene investigator.
Are you able to inform us one of many funniest issues your youngsters have carried out?
Not humorous per se, on condition that they’re nonetheless “infants”. Nevertheless, they only began to stroll and it’s so amusing once they decide one thing up that they know they shouldn’t and try and run off on their little toes, smiling like they’re saying “catch me in case you can”. Nicely, they all the time get caught!! LOL!😁
What are some ways in which youngsters and parenting are totally different from once you have been rising up and now?
There may be definitely much more literature out there as we speak, than again then. Much more consciousness of oneself too. I’m and will likely be very acutely aware of not transferring my fears and biases to my youngsters, one thing many people couldn’t actually keep away from rising up.
How do you intend to arrange your youngsters for an ever-changing world?
Tolerance is among the issues that I discover is lacking on the planet as we speak, together with compassion. I need my youngsters to study to be tolerant of others, to be compassionate and sort. I need them to be fearless, uncovered to numerous individuals and cultures and respectful to all. I need them to be able to discover, I’ll encourage them to ask questions, dig deeper, be daring and stand agency for what they consider in. I’m an empath and wish my youngsters to be thoughtful and attuned/delicate to others. Largely, I’ll elevate them to be fiercely protecting of one another.
What has stunned you essentially the most about being a mum to twins?
Primarily how totally different their personalities are. I all the time remind myself that they’re two separate individuals.
Share what you like most about your work, as a Mentor, Development Strategist, and Chief Mission Officer at Leadway Holdings.
The chance to really make a distinction by simplifying the complexities confronted by both people or the totally different companies I help and proffering options that result in sustainable development/progress.
How vital is a help system for a mum? Who’s in your tribe and what sort of help do you’ve gotten?
I don’t know the place I might be if I didn’t have a help system, particularly as a alternative mother. A terrific instance is needing to journey internationally with the twins. Many airways don’t allow an grownup to fly with a couple of toddler (underneath 2). Bringing them again to Lagos, my Auntie-Mother flew again with us. Not too long ago we visited the UK, this time, my bestie flew and stayed with us at some point of our journey. With out them, I’m not certain what I might have carried out. A “huge sister” moved in with us for 3 months after we returned to Nigeria. After I returned to work, my family and friends took turns to come back and keep on the home, till I received snug with leaving them with the nannies. One other aunt cooks up a storm and drops off month-to-month to ensure that I’m properly nourished.
These are however just a few examples of how a lot help I’m blessed to obtain. There are totally different buckets of individuals, as an example, just a few buddies of mine had infants across the similar interval, so I’m continually checking and evaluating notes, ensuring I’m doing the precise factor and vice versa. My paediatrician sister-friend checks in often through FaceTime or when she’s visiting Nigeria, particularly if I’ve any questions/considerations. I might go on and on. It does take a village and I’m very grateful for our tribe who love us and provides of their time and sources.
How do you steadiness work and parenting? Is it potential to attain this?
As greatest as I can. I’ve a hybrid work construction, which permits me to work at home twice per week. I spend most of my free time with my youngsters, however I additionally carve out time to spend with myself – doing issues that I need or have to. I used to train so much earlier than the infants – play tennis, swim, run/stroll. Of all these actions, I’ve solely been capable of return to strolling and now I do the soar rope at house which is a mix of train for me and leisure for them. There’s additionally the social a part of it, I grew to become a little bit of a recluse because of COVID lockdown and thereafter, the necessity to shield myself (whereas pregnant) after which the infants from the dreadful virus.
So, I’m now getting out a bit extra – professionally and socially. I strongly consider that we weren’t created to be only one factor, so inasmuch as I LOVE my function as a mom, and LOVE spending time with my youngsters, I additionally do so much to make sure that I keep my individuality and relationships. Steadiness shouldn’t be solely potential, it’s essential.
I LOVE my function as a mom and LOVE spending time with my youngsters, I additionally do so much to make sure that I keep my individuality and relationships. Steadiness shouldn’t be solely potential, it’s essential. Click on To Tweet
What’s most difficult about discovering steadiness?
Time! Typically there merely isn’t sufficient of it. I’ve learnt to prioritise and all the time do a very powerful issues first.
How did you react once you discovered you have been anticipating twins?
I used to be overjoyed and terrified on the similar time, I feel I shed just a few tears. I’d all the time wished twins and I couldn’t consider it was lastly occurring.
What has motherhood taught you about your self?
I’ve discovered to not sweat the small stuff. I overlook many issues now that will have made my blood boil prior to now. Now I ask myself how huge of a deal it truly is, and transfer on. I’m completely in self-preservation mode.
What’s one motherhood fable, you want to burst?
“There are restricted routes to motherhood”. There are such a lot of paths for married and single ladies who need to be moms. Standard and unconventional strategies, all result in the specified consequence.
Use one phrase to explain one factor that shouldn’t be lacking from each house.
Share one self-care tip. How do you chill out and spend time on your self?
As they are saying, you may’t pour from an empty vessel. I’m typically very deliberate and that is no totally different. I schedule self-care and put it on my calendar. So it’s on there and I can decide from varied actions, relying on how I really feel on the time. It could possibly be lunch with a good friend or a therapeutic massage and even solo Netflix and chill with a glass of wine. On our earlier talked about journey to the UK, it was a solo journey to Paris for the entire day. Oh, another – a digital detox is fantastic too.
Are you able to inform us the way you keep fashionable and your magnificence routine?
Once more, it involves being intentional. My pores and skin and physique have nonetheless not recovered absolutely from being pregnant, so I select to put on issues that swimsuit my physique in its present state. My newest magnificence hack is double cleaning at evening and following the 60-second rule for laundry my face.
What do you like about LagosMums?
It’s an incredible useful resource and group. As a brand new/first-time mother, I really like that I can discover data for each stage of their development – which is absolutely superb particularly as it’s relatable, localised content material.
○ N1 Million or extra sleep?
Naira??! Extra sleep, please.
○ Would you favor to go on a buying spree or an all-expense-paid journey to your dream vacation spot?
All expense paid journey – I like to journey.
○ Homeschooling or conventional faculty.
○ A spa day or Eat out?
A spa day!
It was beautiful studying extra from our mum of the month, Toyosi Olatunji. Thanks for sharing with us. You possibly can join with Toyosi Olatunji right here.